Nigel Lane

I realise that I am more than mixing metaphors in the title of this post, I am completely messing with an idea and probably losing its point. Let me explain – I understand a doppelganger is someone that looks just like you – your identical twin, your double (or close).

Well I have met someone who has had a very similar life to me, although they look nothing like me physically, which is probably due to the almost 40 years age difference.

My father died when I was 8 – their mother died when they were 7. My mother remarried and I had (Jim recently died) a step father; he has a step mother. I didn’t cry until I was 17 – he still hasn’t “cried properly”. He has HUGE questions about God – “why did He let my mother die” etc – very similar questions that I have asked in my youth.

Our meeting was surreal to me. Of course I have no real idea what he was thinking or feeling about these things. I think Read More

As a youth worker I have been asked on more than one occasion to take part, lead even, the funeral of a departed grandparent. Jonathan wanted an outdoor service in Nan’s front garden with Aaron’s family taking a more conventional approach.

Very occasionally [thankfully], I have attended and contributed to a young person’s funeral. However, this week was a first [and last hopefully] for me – I attended two services on the same day for two former students who died within 24 hours of each other – both of them unexpected.

Robert, aged 21, died because his pancreas burst and Darcy, aged 18, died in a car accident. Two lives, too young, too tragic.

As you might imagine, the young people who knew them are hurting and asking life’s big, tough [often unanswerable] questions.

There are many possible lessons to be drawn from the tragedies and numerous comments and answers that can be made.

But I just want to say: Rob – Read More